I want to teach you how to maintain focus despite what others think, say or do.
Through personal experience, I have learnt to characterize the kind of things other people think, say or do regarding what someone may set themselves out to achieve.
Based on these, I have come up with eight kinds of people who act consciously to ensure that others will find it difficult to maintain focus in their endeavours.
I call them the eight Ds.
We all need to come to terms with the simple fact that there are people within our circle who are keen on making sure that they make us lose focus and stray from our life goals.
One disturbing motive behind this kind of behaviour is to make sure that they maintain the status quo.
Some people simply hate others getting ahead. So they will say or do anything to you or to those helping you just to make sure you fail.
There are people who wake up each morning thinking only of ways to destroy what others are building.
These are the people who will deliberately behave in ways just to kill your enthusiasm.
If it means employing others who can place obstacles in your way just to cause you to abandon your dream project, they will gladly do so.
It really doesn’t matter much how fired up you were when you first started.
Besides, they will actively say things just to make sure they kill the fire in you.
Also, there will be people in your life who will show openly, through their actions, that they would rather you failed; the earlier the sweeter.
Your detractors are the worst vermin.They will use very dirty tactics just to make it difficult for you to maintain focus.
These are people who, for reasons best known to them, do not want others to succeed at any personal project.
So, they conspire with others, sow seeds of discord in the minds of your workers or clients.
Your detractors are those people who are good at appointing themselves as your public relations officers for all the negative reasons you can think of.
They know how to work to deny you of resources and opportunities. In their hands are such tools as backbiting, bad-mouthing, character assassination and the like.
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When you are deflated you feel like a football deprived of all air. Flabby, dispirited, slow and ineffective.
Know that there are people within your circle whose main preoccupation is to make you feel deflated.
Below are just some of the many techniques people I call deflationists are good at employing to make anybody they may target become unable to maintain focus.
- Deflationists will point to an imaginary looming danger ahead of you if you persist.
- They will persuade you to indulge in unhelpful activities that make you waste your time and energy.
- These are people who will make you lose trust in people who might help you to achieve your goals.
- There are those who consciously act in ways that make you begin to nurse negative emotions such as hatred, envy and vindictiveness.
- Simply put, deflationists are good at bringing out the worst in you.
Debilitators debilitate you!
They do things or say things that run you down or cripple you, literally.
Debilitators are experts at making others lose confidence in their real abilities. All of a sudden, you cannot maintain focus and move on with the things that need to be done.
It is a debilitator that can use clever methods to make you become an alcoholic or a drug addict, for example.
Your debilitator is that friend, neighbour, schoolmate or coursemate, or coworker who will walk you into a trap, if you’re not extra vigilant.
They can make you run into all forms of trouble while they walk away with their back turned to you and with a sinister smile on their face.
Some people are so desperate to gain undue advantage at the least opportunity that they employ all kinds of underhand methods to pull others down.
The objective behind the tactics of every desperado is to come up on top at your expense. You may find them at your workplace as you work to gain recognition, promotion or a pay rise.
The unfortunate thing about people who discourage others from doing what it takes to move forward in life is that a great number of them would claim to have your best interest at heart.
And oh, funnily, they really do!
But they are also ignorant about where you’re coming from and what you are capable of doing.
Discouragers can make you lose interest in what you set out to accomplish just by giving you an assortment of reasons why you cannot succeed.
Some reasons people will give for discouraging you from maintaining focus on your life goals are these:
- Poor people like you shouldn’t attempt that kind of project. You don’t have the needed resources.
- You need the kind of outside support you can’t get anyway.
- Surely, you are too young to do what you want to do.
- Age is not on your side. You are too old.
- People will laugh at you.
- You can’t succeed by approaching the project in a manner never done before.
- No matter what you do, you are going to die and leave it all behind.
These usually come in groups rather than as individuals.
It is discussants that will bombard you with what they consider to be the best arguments against the viability of whatever project you wish to complete.
Then they wrap it all up by giving you unsolicited advice, mostly in the negative.
I know them to go about complaining bitterly to others if you refuse to take their unsolicited advice.Sure, I may lose some of the battles but at the end of it all, the war will go my way. Click To Tweet
Therefore, should anything go wrong with your project, they will triumphantly point out to you the only reason they think you are facing problems – you failed to heed their advice.
But oh, how wrong they are!
Now you know them by their true colours.
The vital question is how can you maintain focus when the world is filled with people who are busy trying to make if difficult for others to maintain the right focus?
Here is a list of how I have personally treated what people think, say or do about my personal goals. In most instances, I manage to bypass and surprise them.
This is exactly how I maintain focus.
So you too can give them a try. Who knows, they can work for you too as you work to maintain focus on your personal projects.
- I consider their ideas to see if I can benefit from them in any way. There are times when what someone else says may not directly benefit you but you can gain a surprising insight as a result of that comment.
- I crosscheck the facts. Just to be sure. Then I try those I believe are workable while I maintain focus on my overall vision.
- On many occasions, I decide to trust my gut instincts.
- I try to find out the motive behind what others say or do in connection with my baby projects. Quite often, the motive may be sinister especially if you come to know the person as a career detractor, so to speak. That flashes the red light. I simply ignore them and push ahead doggedly.
I allow the fire in me to clear and show the way
- Quite often, I simply let my passion drive my moves. Passion has this powerful quality of chopping off the cold hand of discouragement. Passion is a natural, potent tool to rely on if you want to maintain focus on whatever activity you set out to undertake.
- I may sometimes think about what others are thinking about my unorthodox ways. I’m quite certain many people have laughed at the things I do and the way and manner I go about them. That’s okay. It’s their right to thought and to free expression. So I let them be and devote my mind and attention to what I’m doing. I’ve surprised people this way throughout my life and I will continue to do so.
- Trust me, I do not let negative people poison my mind with their negativity. I always refuse to allow them to succeed at destroying my ambitions. Sure, I may lose some of the battles but at the end of it all, the war will go my way.
It is always impossible until someone makes it possible.
- I put my mental abilities to good use. The mind has always been one powerful tool in the hands of every person of ambition. Use it. Let your mind take hold of your resources, material and immaterial. However inadequate they may be, make them achieve the impossible. Remember what Nelson Mandela said.
- To continue to maintain focus, I try very hard to hold on to my higher values – integrity and persistence top the list. With these, most of the machinations of debilitators and deflationists, in particular, will come to naught.
So there you have it.
You too can learn to maintain focus on your goals in spite of the distractions, the discouragement and the deliberate efforts others make to make sure you fail.
Because you will always have what it takes to maintain focus and succeed.